I wish Professor McGonagall ended all her classes by snapping her fingers, saying “McGonagone” then strutting out.
Cosmo sex tip #394: Once your man reaches orgasm, awkwardly embrace him and whisper “well done Draco.”
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD I SWEAR
Today my history professor, a rumpled, pot-bellied guy in his mid thirties, walked into class looking all excited, which made the rest of us nervous, because he’s known for pop quizzes. He took a deep breath and said, “I have been waiting for this moment my entire teaching career. So please, pull out your textbooks and…” in a British accent, glowering at us all ferociously, “TURN TO PAGE THREE HUNDRED AND NINETY FOUR.”
We. All. DIED.
I AM COMPLETELY SERIOUS.
- Dumbledore: Welcome back to another year of Hogwarts!
- Dumbledore: I actually don't know why your parents still send you here
- Dumbledore: There's like a 30% chance you'll die tragically
- Dumbledore: And it just goes up every year
- Dumbledore: I guess that just means all your parents hate you
- Dumbledore: Great let's have some pumpkin juice
if i was at hogwarts i would say ‘accio buttons’ whenever an attractive guy walked past so his shirt popped open